New Year's resolutions, crafted by PR crisis managers

In the spirit of end-of-year reflection, there was one article in today's Wall Street Journal that I thought was particularly useful today. Titled Mistakes Were Made: What To Take Away From The High-Profile Blunders of 2006, the article interviews crisis managers from all over the country and asks their advice on how to deal with the biggest mistakes of 2006. I saw that article and thought in the spirit of giving and self-improvement, some of the quotes might prove useful to many executives and marketers in the news this year. So without further ado....

"The Internet neutralizes redemption, because the original sin lives on," says Eric Dezenhall, a crisis consultant in Washington, D.C. "Your darkest side and greatest failures can be showcased forever."

What this means is that no matter how hard he tries, Microsoft founder Bill Gates will never be able to live down Microsoft Bob, especially since some of its features live on in the search function of Windows XP.

"You can be from the smallest town in America and be international news by lunchtime," warns Jonathan Bernstein, a consultant in Los Angeles. "So conduct yourself as if you're on the air at all times."

I do so hope Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer (aka "Dancing Monkey Boy") takes this one to heart.

"Everyone says, 'I'm sorry.' That's very '80s," says Karen Friedman, a communications coach in Blue Bell, Pa. "It's like saying to someone, 'I love you, now sleep with me.' It's empty, hollow and, quite frankly, pathetic: 'I'm sorry I cooked the books.' 'I'm sorry I beat my wife. I won't do it again.' " In 2007, Ms. Friedman says, nothing less than a full-out explanation, total candor and contrition will do. "You have to say, 'I made a terrible mistake. I offended people. I lied. I was stupid.' "

This one is for HP CEO Mark Hurd, whose PR-written apology actually managed to avoid including the words, "I'm sorry".

The people who survive their missteps tend to have a reservoir of goodwill. If people like and respect you -- if you've treated them well in the past -- "they're more apt to reach out and pick you up if you've stumbled," says Steven Fink, who runs a California-based crisis-management firm.

"Americans will forgive mistakes. We will not forgive arrogance," says Richard Levick, who runs a strategic communications firm in Washington, D.C.

It is a shame that former Sony game unit President Ken Kutagari didn't get this memo before the Nintendo Wii ate Playstation 3's lunch at Christmas.

"All of us have audiences -- our bosses, colleagues, students, families, vendors, in-laws," says Mr. Levick. "You can't violate the trust with your audience." As Ms. Friedman asks: "Who is that family member, friend, co-worker? What will they put up with? What will offend each of them?"

If you misread the temperature of your "audience," you must apologize, even if you're late doing so. Crisis managers mention Oprah Winfrey. At first, she defended Mr. Frey after news broke that he'd fabricated parts of his book. After her initial efforts offended her audience, she admitted she had made a mistake.

I wonder when we can expect an apology for brown Zunes? The latest Amazon electronics best-sellers has a black Zune at #62, but the brown Zune is nowhere to be found.

But one things for sure: once Microsoft Vista starts disabling video cards and monitors, degrading content, and crashing more often for people just to protect the media industry, there will be plenty of time for apologies.

When smart companies are enduring a public-relations crisis, "they try to get through a news cycle or two," says Steven Van Hook, who teaches marketing communications at University of California, Santa Barbara. "The same is true in your personal cycle. Can you wait it out a couple of days?"

With the current flurry of articles (just today's Wall Street Journal has three, here, here, and here) about possible (but unconfirmed) falsified documents in the Apple Computer options investigation, perhaps Apple has taken this approach.

By the time James Lukaszewski, a consultant in White Plains, N.Y., gets calls from high-profile people in trouble, "things are already leaking, foaming, stinking or flaming," he says. The best way to avoid having to call him, he says, is simple. "Live a life of integrity. When in doubt, lean toward the ethical decision."

By the time James Lukaszewski, a consultant in White Plains, N.Y., gets calls from high-profile people in trouble, "things are already leaking, foaming, stinking or flaming," he says. The best way to avoid having to call him, he says, is simple. "Live a life of integrity. When in doubt, lean toward the ethical decision."

Or as Mr. Levick tells clients: "Listen to your mother. If you can't justify what you're doing to her, then don't do it."

And perhaps this is why Steve Jobs gave back the options that are alleged by the Financial Times and others to have been given him without proper authorization. If it is true, I argue that his mother would be proud. After all, how many other CEOs listed above would relinquish $100 million or so because they thought it was wrong?

Technorati Tags: Apple, Bill Gates, Ken Kutagari, Mark Hurd, Opinion, Steve Ballmer, Steve Jobs